By Daniel B. Kline
As the writer of an opinion column one can expect a reasonable amount of angry email. Normally, though, even the people who hate me tend to stick with name-calling regarding their perception of my political affiliation or my general dislike of something they like.
When I wrote my column about not enjoying how Starbucks – where I spend many hours a day – plays Christmas music non-stop for a month, I fully expected some negative letters. In fact, when I emailed the column to the various papers around the country that run it, my note at the top to the editors read, “Let the hate mail fly.”
I fully expected to be called a Grinch or to be regaled by tales of how much various readers enjoyed Christmas music. I figured some people would also be mad at my not-too-subtle jab at people who wear holiday-themed sweaters.
I did not expect, however, that this particular column, a mild criticism at best, would result in the single most offensive email in my over 15 years of writing some form of newspaper column. Never mind that I acknowledged that Christmas music was fun to sing and that I mentioned caroling as a child; a reader thought it fit to assume my dislike of the Starbucks Christmas music loop was due to me being Jewish.
It would be impossible for me to describe the email in all its ignorant glory, so let me offer it here for you. I’m leaving in the grammar mistakes, but redacting the name because I’m sure this fellow has more than enough problems without being identified in his community as a crude anti-Semite.
“Ive often wondered why many people do not like Jews. Your a prime example with your anti xmas music article. Helen Thomas was right when she said why dont all you kikes go back to Europe.”
I’m pretty sure my friend here does not need to do a lot of wondering as to why people don’t like Jews. If he’s willing to write this because I find Christmas music annoying, well, it’s a pretty short line for him to go from wondering to not quite liking us.
If I was Christian and didn’t like Christmas music, would that be okay? How about the fact that I’m married to a Catholic woman, is that a point in my favor on the anti-Semitism scale?
It’s not like I went after the Pope. I besmirched “Jingle Bell Rock” and “Little Drummer Boy.” This letter would be like accusing me of hating Hispanics because I don’t enjoy “Dora the Explorer.”
It’s sad that hatred like this exists – especially during this time of year when we’re supposed to be thinking about goodwill towards our fellow man. That said, it’s probably good to know that no matter how much progress we think we have made, more work remains to be done.
I ask my emailing friend to think about whether it’s really a straight line between not enjoying Christmas music and being worthy of anyone’s disdain. As I’m sure my friends, family, wife and child will tell you, there are plenty of reasons to dislike me. Fortunately, they have overlooked those faults and manage to find a few things worth liking.
Merry Christmas. May your jingle bells rock if you so desire them to.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com. You can listen to his podcast or buy his upcoming book, Worst Ideas Ever, at Worstideasever.com.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Look close and offer a small kindness
By Daniel B. Kline
A friend of mine has a two-year-old daughter. She’s an adorable little thing, charming and delightful in a way that only little girls can be. Right in the Christmas spirit sweet spot, she knows of Santa and presents, but not of paying the rent, keeping the lights on and dealing with the grim reality of having to place food and shelter over presents.
My friend works with many other friends of mine and we all know her child. We also know a mother who has very little, but works hard and does everything she can to give her daughter the best life she possibly can.
I imagine that someday the daughter would grow to appreciate these things, but a two-year-old on Christmas morning knows nothing of sacrifice. A two-year-old on Christmas morning should know nothing of sacrifice.
Instead, even if it’s an illusion, that child should know wrapping paper and unexpected delights – dollhouses and stuffed animals, new clothes and whatever else a two-year-old girl dreams of. Children of that age may not know what they don’t have, but they certainly know what they do.
While adults strive for houses, better cars and a well-stocked pantry, a two-year-old only knows the pure joy of a cherished item and the happiness of getting something new. As adults, those of us who have things – be they meager or plentiful – have a deep responsibility to make sure that the children around us know happiness on Christmas and beyond.
I’m not talking about vaguely suffering kids in far off lands. While they deserve our supports as well, we must first make sure the children of our coworkers, neighbors and friends have some joy this holiday season. Bring some light into the houses of those close to us and we’ll all be able to bask in the glow.
In my case, few of us realized how hard our friend was working to get her daughter a handful of presents to put under the tree. She never complained, never asked for help and though we should have known it would be a struggle for her, we never stopped to consider her difficult road.
Perhaps by chance or maybe through something greater, we learned of our friend’s burden and quietly the kindness began. In small increments people helped as they could. It was subtle and secret as we were doing it out of affection, not pity.
Our friend and her daughter have not had an easy road and there’s nothing I will do this holiday season that makes me feel better than knowing I helped bring them both a smile on Christmas. To take one worry off our friend’s shoulders is a privilege I will not soon forget and I’m honored that she allowed us to help.
Whatever you have there is someone who has less. If we all share what we have with those who matter to us, than we are all wealthier for the experience.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com and you can listen to his podcast at Worstideasever.com.
A friend of mine has a two-year-old daughter. She’s an adorable little thing, charming and delightful in a way that only little girls can be. Right in the Christmas spirit sweet spot, she knows of Santa and presents, but not of paying the rent, keeping the lights on and dealing with the grim reality of having to place food and shelter over presents.
My friend works with many other friends of mine and we all know her child. We also know a mother who has very little, but works hard and does everything she can to give her daughter the best life she possibly can.
I imagine that someday the daughter would grow to appreciate these things, but a two-year-old on Christmas morning knows nothing of sacrifice. A two-year-old on Christmas morning should know nothing of sacrifice.
Instead, even if it’s an illusion, that child should know wrapping paper and unexpected delights – dollhouses and stuffed animals, new clothes and whatever else a two-year-old girl dreams of. Children of that age may not know what they don’t have, but they certainly know what they do.
While adults strive for houses, better cars and a well-stocked pantry, a two-year-old only knows the pure joy of a cherished item and the happiness of getting something new. As adults, those of us who have things – be they meager or plentiful – have a deep responsibility to make sure that the children around us know happiness on Christmas and beyond.
I’m not talking about vaguely suffering kids in far off lands. While they deserve our supports as well, we must first make sure the children of our coworkers, neighbors and friends have some joy this holiday season. Bring some light into the houses of those close to us and we’ll all be able to bask in the glow.
In my case, few of us realized how hard our friend was working to get her daughter a handful of presents to put under the tree. She never complained, never asked for help and though we should have known it would be a struggle for her, we never stopped to consider her difficult road.
Perhaps by chance or maybe through something greater, we learned of our friend’s burden and quietly the kindness began. In small increments people helped as they could. It was subtle and secret as we were doing it out of affection, not pity.
Our friend and her daughter have not had an easy road and there’s nothing I will do this holiday season that makes me feel better than knowing I helped bring them both a smile on Christmas. To take one worry off our friend’s shoulders is a privilege I will not soon forget and I’m honored that she allowed us to help.
Whatever you have there is someone who has less. If we all share what we have with those who matter to us, than we are all wealthier for the experience.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com and you can listen to his podcast at Worstideasever.com.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Please stop the music
By Daniel B. Kline
Like a large percentage of full-time freelancers, I spend some of my workday, nearly every day, working from a table at my local Starbucks. I do this because they not only have tasty coffee and tea drinks, they also have other humans to at least be in the physical presence of as freelancing can be extremely isolating.
I often spend whole days working entirely on my laptop and on m Blackberry, emailing and texting people, but never actually speaking to anyone. This isolation is compounded when I choose to work out of my office, a 10x8 room in a very quiet office building near my house.
Because of this, I usually begin my day at Starbucks, working from about 7-10 a.m. before heading to the gym, then either working from my couch or going to the office. Starbucks, as a chain seems aware that many people in my situation use their stores as an office as they offer free Wi-Fi, lots of outlets for plugging in laptops and cleaner bathrooms than most places (Manhattan Starbucks are a rather large exception here).
It would seem a fairly large percentage of non-morning rush business for the coffee chain comes from people that use the store as an office extension. Because of that, one would expect the stores to at least somewhat cater to this loyal clientele and normally they do.
During the holiday season, however, Starbucks, like many stores, gives over its background music to Christmas music. Instead of their normal mix of somewhat quirky offerings, Starbucks delivers a non-stop run through the wretched underbelly of Christmas songs.
Now, before you write the hate mail, let me say that Christmas songs are fun to sign. Gathering around a tree or going caroling can be quite enjoyable, and was something I liked as a child despite being Jewish.
That said, of the thousands of Christmas songs ever recorded, essentially only Bruce Springsteen covering “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town,” and RUN DMC’s “Christmas In Hollis,” deserve repeated listening. I’ll accept that everyone has their personal favorites as well, but as a category, Christmas music is to music what the sweater bedecked with reindeer and candy canes is to stylish outfits.
Taken in brief doses, Christmas songs aren’t technically harmful, but in large enough quantities they can make your ears bleed. I’m sure most people mildly enjoy the brief snippets of a song or two they hear while picking up a latte or a cappuccino.
For those of us whom actually spend large chunks of time in the store, though, the experience becomes excruciating. This must even be worse for the Starbucks employees who not only have to hear a blues cover of “Let It Snow” or an African chant version of “Jingle Bells,” they have to hear them again and again.
Like most holiday indulgences, Christmas songs are best when you have just slightly less than you want. Go just slightly over the limit and you’re the guy at the family dinner with his face covered in egg nog as he tells his family members what he really thinks of them.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com and you can listen to his podcast at Worstideasever.com.
Like a large percentage of full-time freelancers, I spend some of my workday, nearly every day, working from a table at my local Starbucks. I do this because they not only have tasty coffee and tea drinks, they also have other humans to at least be in the physical presence of as freelancing can be extremely isolating.
I often spend whole days working entirely on my laptop and on m Blackberry, emailing and texting people, but never actually speaking to anyone. This isolation is compounded when I choose to work out of my office, a 10x8 room in a very quiet office building near my house.
Because of this, I usually begin my day at Starbucks, working from about 7-10 a.m. before heading to the gym, then either working from my couch or going to the office. Starbucks, as a chain seems aware that many people in my situation use their stores as an office as they offer free Wi-Fi, lots of outlets for plugging in laptops and cleaner bathrooms than most places (Manhattan Starbucks are a rather large exception here).
It would seem a fairly large percentage of non-morning rush business for the coffee chain comes from people that use the store as an office extension. Because of that, one would expect the stores to at least somewhat cater to this loyal clientele and normally they do.
During the holiday season, however, Starbucks, like many stores, gives over its background music to Christmas music. Instead of their normal mix of somewhat quirky offerings, Starbucks delivers a non-stop run through the wretched underbelly of Christmas songs.
Now, before you write the hate mail, let me say that Christmas songs are fun to sign. Gathering around a tree or going caroling can be quite enjoyable, and was something I liked as a child despite being Jewish.
That said, of the thousands of Christmas songs ever recorded, essentially only Bruce Springsteen covering “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town,” and RUN DMC’s “Christmas In Hollis,” deserve repeated listening. I’ll accept that everyone has their personal favorites as well, but as a category, Christmas music is to music what the sweater bedecked with reindeer and candy canes is to stylish outfits.
Taken in brief doses, Christmas songs aren’t technically harmful, but in large enough quantities they can make your ears bleed. I’m sure most people mildly enjoy the brief snippets of a song or two they hear while picking up a latte or a cappuccino.
For those of us whom actually spend large chunks of time in the store, though, the experience becomes excruciating. This must even be worse for the Starbucks employees who not only have to hear a blues cover of “Let It Snow” or an African chant version of “Jingle Bells,” they have to hear them again and again.
Like most holiday indulgences, Christmas songs are best when you have just slightly less than you want. Go just slightly over the limit and you’re the guy at the family dinner with his face covered in egg nog as he tells his family members what he really thinks of them.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com and you can listen to his podcast at Worstideasever.com.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
3D movies completely unnecessary
By Daniel B. Kline
Please, I beg of you, stop going to see movies in 3D. If we, the viewing public, stop supporting 3D films, then Hollywood will stop making them and we can put an end to this completely unnecessary technology.
I, of course, blame James Cameron for causing this craze with his plotless technology-fest “Avatar.” Cameron, who has finely crafted his skills at delivering style over substance reached a new level of craptacularity with this 3D mess of blue people moving around in a jungle.
The film may well be a triumph in creating all sorts of new techniques to deliver images in 3D. Unfortunately, the added dimension adds nothing to the story or your enjoyment of the picture. It does, of course, add to the price of a movie ticket which explains why Hollywood has eagerly shot more movies in 3D and even more reprehensibly has converted others after shooting.
Adding 3D to a movie is essentially the same as adding smell to a novel. It’s an added dimension, but the addition actually takes away from the whole. This has been especially true throughout the history of 3D as the use of the technology invariably leads to characters throwing spears or doing other things that can make the audience react.
I’ve never been one to complain about the price of a movie ticket. Around $10 a person for two hours of entertainment always seemed fair to me, though if you’re going to charge $4.50 for a box of Junior Mints, don’t be surprised if I sneak in my own candy.
The price for 3D films, though, has reached an absurd level, especially because I’m paying for something that almost never makes the movie-going experience better. My son and I normally see an early showing of whatever kids movie happens to be playing that weekend.
With child/matinee prices, this normally costs anywhere from $12-$14 depending upon the theater. Recently, though, we went to see “Megamind” before noon on a Sunday and while I had no intention of seeing it in 3D, that was the only way it was playing at this particular theater.
Those two tickets cost me $26 for which I not only got to see the movie, I was also treated to the headache that anyone who wears actual glasses gets when having to put 3D glasses on as well. I mildly enjoyed the movie, which for a kids film had a decent plot, but can honestly say that it gained nothing (aside from more box office) from being in 3D.
Unfortunately, 3D films have almost universally done well, so now pretty much all animated movies and nearly all action movies will be released in 3D. This makes it okay to have less plot and more stuff flying around “hitting” the audience.
At this rate, how far are we from 3D romantic-comedies where Julia Roberts has to spit-take into the camera so you know you’re watching a 3D movie? Is there a way for Woody Allen to be neurotic in an added dimension? Do we really need Jonah Hill or Zach Galifianakis playing the fat friend in 3D?
If I wanted a Disney ride, I’d go to Disney World. When I go to the movies, I don’t need things popping out at me or to be immersed in the experience. I know they’re putting the Star Wars movies out in 3D and I love Star Wars, but I don’t want to dodge lighsabers, I want to watch the movie.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com and you can listen to his podcast at Worstideasever.com.
Please, I beg of you, stop going to see movies in 3D. If we, the viewing public, stop supporting 3D films, then Hollywood will stop making them and we can put an end to this completely unnecessary technology.
I, of course, blame James Cameron for causing this craze with his plotless technology-fest “Avatar.” Cameron, who has finely crafted his skills at delivering style over substance reached a new level of craptacularity with this 3D mess of blue people moving around in a jungle.
The film may well be a triumph in creating all sorts of new techniques to deliver images in 3D. Unfortunately, the added dimension adds nothing to the story or your enjoyment of the picture. It does, of course, add to the price of a movie ticket which explains why Hollywood has eagerly shot more movies in 3D and even more reprehensibly has converted others after shooting.
Adding 3D to a movie is essentially the same as adding smell to a novel. It’s an added dimension, but the addition actually takes away from the whole. This has been especially true throughout the history of 3D as the use of the technology invariably leads to characters throwing spears or doing other things that can make the audience react.
I’ve never been one to complain about the price of a movie ticket. Around $10 a person for two hours of entertainment always seemed fair to me, though if you’re going to charge $4.50 for a box of Junior Mints, don’t be surprised if I sneak in my own candy.
The price for 3D films, though, has reached an absurd level, especially because I’m paying for something that almost never makes the movie-going experience better. My son and I normally see an early showing of whatever kids movie happens to be playing that weekend.
With child/matinee prices, this normally costs anywhere from $12-$14 depending upon the theater. Recently, though, we went to see “Megamind” before noon on a Sunday and while I had no intention of seeing it in 3D, that was the only way it was playing at this particular theater.
Those two tickets cost me $26 for which I not only got to see the movie, I was also treated to the headache that anyone who wears actual glasses gets when having to put 3D glasses on as well. I mildly enjoyed the movie, which for a kids film had a decent plot, but can honestly say that it gained nothing (aside from more box office) from being in 3D.
Unfortunately, 3D films have almost universally done well, so now pretty much all animated movies and nearly all action movies will be released in 3D. This makes it okay to have less plot and more stuff flying around “hitting” the audience.
At this rate, how far are we from 3D romantic-comedies where Julia Roberts has to spit-take into the camera so you know you’re watching a 3D movie? Is there a way for Woody Allen to be neurotic in an added dimension? Do we really need Jonah Hill or Zach Galifianakis playing the fat friend in 3D?
If I wanted a Disney ride, I’d go to Disney World. When I go to the movies, I don’t need things popping out at me or to be immersed in the experience. I know they’re putting the Star Wars movies out in 3D and I love Star Wars, but I don’t want to dodge lighsabers, I want to watch the movie.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com and you can listen to his podcast at Worstideasever.com.
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